Still Waiting

Thursday, July 27, 2006

"...18, 19, 20. Ready or not here i am come!"
My bellows echoed throughout the house.
As I opened my eyes and moved away from the door,
I crept towards the stairs,
peering around as I took each step.
The floorboards creaked beneath my feet.
I tried to lighten my steps as I tip-toed up
the dark wooden flight of stairs.
The golden chandelier was lit above me.
The shining crystals poured out light
over the magnificient stairway.
Even after looking at it all these years,
the majestic chandelier still mesmerized me.

-----=+=-----

that was a practice. for O's.
i need to write better compositions.
and it matches the theme of my new background.
how do u guys find the background?

-when are you coming back? ;

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

hey!... i'm back...
for now...

watched a lil of miss universe pageant 2006...
miss japan got 1st runner-up!
wow... unbelievable when u first hear it.
but when u see her pic,
u'll understand why...

<-miss japan... in evening gown n national costume. i was kinda expecting to see miss japan wearing a kimono... but den again, this is more unique... n it's quite stylish n cool. unusual. well... she rocks... for all the asian countries out there who couldnt make it as far as her. esp singapore... miss singapore didnt even make it to the top 20... i personally think that jade seah shld hav won... but wad can i say? i don't wanna be jailed so i shant say any further... haha...

other than tt... nothin that interesting has happened lately...
the person who designed my current background is really talented.
u shld see her other designs...
really cool... i shall put them up the next time i change my background. :)

-when are you coming back? ;

Monday, July 24, 2006

sorry if i havent been bloggin much
or will not b...
coz i'm gonna hav to use the time to prepare for
my prelims people...
ok i'll try to make it short n sweet.
i need my beauty sleep.
the weekend was cool n fun.
ironically,
the weather was hot.
we went shopping anyway.
bought loads of tops.
3 or 4 to b more or less exact.
n 2 tees.
n a bracelet.
a free necklace.
n a pair of earrings.
total expenditure = nearly $80.
ok... my future husband may suffer
if this is considered spend-thrift.
oh well...
i wont b shoppin till aftr o's anyway.

searched friendster for my kindergarden frenz...
so far found 4 n still counting...
it was actually quite eazy for some.
depends on whether they hav common names
or not too...
one of them was gayle nerva(sg idol
contestant)'s bro. n d coincidental thing
is that they live juz round the corner frm me.
haha.
weird rite?
anyway, that's abt it.
shant bore u wif other boring stuff abt my life.
i wont b able to update much anymore.
ok... byez!

-when are you coming back? ;

Thursday, July 20, 2006

today's quite a sad day...
not for me...
but for other ppl...
today, we celebrated racial harmony day but still,
we took our goodbye pics wif ms yuen.
it's her last day tmr.
our beloved e maths n p.e. teacher,
we'll miss u!

oh n for sg idol,
gayle got voted out....
so sad.
out of all the girls there,
i liked her the best.
acc to my bro,
she might be my neighbour
'coz he claims he saw her
a few times walking home.

i've been goin to the library aftr sch
wif tanya, clarissa n jx these few days.
actually, whenever i go there,
i'll juz be doing homework.
not so much of studyin.
but hey,
it's a start.
haha.
wif my kind of record,
goin to the lirbrary to do work
is somthin surprising.
anyway, i am gonna be studyin intensively soon.
:)

when i got home,
i decided to run since i havent been
exercising much lately
wif the suspension of cca
quite some time ago.
and since i've been comin home rather
late frm the libraries,
i dun usually find the time to run.
or wuld usually b too tired.
n since today,
both my bros were also home
rather early
and were set to run,
i decided to join them.
yet, i onli joined them for abt 1/4
of the run.
they decided to run to jalan kayu
which was quite far,
lik several bus-stops away.
so i decided to juz run arnd my neighbourhood,
up to the main road n back.
even den,
i was rather breathless half-way.
my lungs n throat was hurting so
i was forced to walk slowly at certain pts.
man, i'm sure unfit.
but of coz, wif my condition,
i din wanna push it.
aftrwards, i decided to ride my bro's bike
coz i dun hav one of my own.
aftr struggling for awhile wif it,
even aftr adjusting it,
it was still too high for me.
wad can i sae?
i'm just short.
my bro came to the rescue,
he adjusted the seat till it was too high
for him,
n demonstrated how i was supposed to
ride even tho it was too high.
yet despite him being able to hop on it so easily,
i was not able to.
it was onli till i used the curb on the side of the road
den i was able to ride.
haha. it was rather unstable
i had to violently swerve left n right
b4 being able to control it.
den when my bro asked me to stop at the curb,
i was quite unsure how to n had to ask him
to help me catch me when i stopped
to prevent me frm falling.

oh n this mornin, we celebrated racial harmony day.
many people din wear traditional costumes.
they din bother to.
they juz wore their house t-shirts(coloured p.e. t-shirt lik)
n cca skirts.
sigh.
some ppl wore traditional costumes lik tanya n i.
i wore a green chongsam wif my own heels.
while tanya wore a white floral qi pao, iszit?
cant remember wad it was called.
sadly, i couldnt bring my cam coz my bro borrowed it
n tanya also din bring hers.
clarissa's cam also had a flat batt.
it was quite nice to see some of us differently
n esp seeing the teachers differently.
mrs chong(madam butterfly), my chinese teacher
who normally dresses uniquely,
was wearing a nice orange/red outfit
which was shiny n had a matchin scarf/shawl/wrap-around.

yea. tt's all for today...
i'm feelin really tired frm sch n all.
ok sry for the long entry.
goin to slp now.
might not b bloggin for long.
k bye.

-when are you coming back? ;

Monday, July 17, 2006

weekend was fun...
i had prayer n praise for cell...
jas n i were the emcees.
esther n jamie were the judges
n aunty pat was the guest judge.
hahaz.
it was really fun.
the presentations the grps put up
were impressive n creative.

sunday was church.
Canon Kuan was lik alrite.
his sermon was quite relevant i guess.
lunch was fun.
ate wif my cell ppl.
talked bout loads of stuff.

today, had listenin compre.
i think i got at least 2 wrong la.
sigh. oh well.
at least chinese is over.
for now.

i feel so accomplished.
i've finally started studyin...
or at least doin work la.
today aftr sch,
tanya, clarissa n i went to the tp library
to study
or do work at least.

i feel much better frm d migraine btw.
i slept the whole of friday aftrnoon.
woke up n went for tuition...

oh yea i caught pirates of the caribbean 2
on sat.
it was quite nice.
quite funny.
i think d first one's funnier
but this one's not bad too.
duno y evryone saes it's not.

i had a dream once
just aftr i watched x-men3.
i dreamt tt there was some kind of
nuclear explosion.
den evryone had some sort of super power.
i din hav any at first.
somethin lik the boy frm sky high.
if i had to choose a power,
i wuld either choose to b able to be invisible
or hav the ability to change my appearance
like mystic in x-men.
den i can change myself to look like
the prettiest model in the world.
lik one of the America's next top model.
or tyra banks.
or hav d the ability to teleport.
so i can save time n energy
by juz blinkin.
no nid to take bus n walk for 1 hr evryday.
i can juz teleport myself to new york or paris
or rome or london or venice w/o sitting in the airplane.
n if i'm angry i can juz blink myself to another location
n b back in less than a day.
n not hav to face d ppl i'm angry wif.
i wont wanna read ppl's minds.
aftr wait i dun lik wad i hear.
n readin ppl's minds is lik so cliche.
freezing time wuld b cool too.
or rewinding or speedin...
as in being in control of time la.
can rewind or slow down or speed up
or freeze time.
tt's cool.
esp if u're lik watchin a sunset or
a rainbow tt's gonna fade soon.
den freeze time n admire it.
haha. imagine tt.

-when are you coming back? ;

Friday, July 14, 2006

puking is horrible...
i hate the feeling...
it's gut-wrenching
like wad my dad says...
but once u've stopped...
it's a bliss...
i hate the feelin of wanting to vomit even more...
it's lik u wan to vomit but u can't...
n i wanted to lie down n slp so bad.
coz of the s2pid headaches...
but evrytime i tried,
i felt lik vomiting...
so i wuld sit up n lean over a plastic bag
but den i wuldnt puke...
onli until my dad drove me home
n i was still in the car outside my hse.
den when i puked into the bag,
it started leaking,
n got the car seat all wet...
den i opened the door n puked onto the road.
den drank water n apple juice
to get rid of the burnin sensation in my throat
caused by the hydrochloric acid.
den i went to bed.
aftrwhich i woke up at abt 1+ n ate my lunch.
den read abit of my book
b4 goin back to slp.
den i slpt till 6.
den bathed n ate dinner
n went for tuition.

ok y did i puke?
coz i was havin 3 migraines in the mornin
which felt lik 1 massive one
coz they were all one of the other.
wif the migraines came the neausea(did i spell tt rite?)
lazy to check dictionary.
den i onli managed to do 1 titration
out of 3 coz i couldnt take it.
so i went to the office
n waited there while they phoned my dad.

i only started gettin migraines aftr my heart op last yr.
first it started out lik today,
really severe.
den it got weaker n weaker
n less often.
but i dun really puke coz of it tt often.
once in a long while mayb...
n i duno whether they were due to migraine.
so anyway,
coz of it,
i started seeing the neurologist.
i went for my MRI yesterday.
it was lik alrite.
not tt scary.
juz laid down in this machine
w/o moving.
for lik 30-50 mins.
i couldnt tell how long.
coz i din hav a watch wif me.
i think i was really tired
coz i was lik half-aslp.
i think i was dreamin coz whenever
my muscle twitches or sumthin,
i wuld lik "wake up" in my mind,
but wuldnt rmbr wad i was
thinkin abt last.
at first,
i was lik singing in my head
some Christian songs i could think of.
aftr awhile i dreamt of stuff.
yeah d nurse said tt i was really gd
coz i laid really still throughout.
at certain pts,
i tried to move my fingers n toes slightly
coz they were gettin numb.
but it wasnt tt much.
the noises the machine made
were really loud
coz i was wearin earplugs
n cushions arnd my ears.
but i could still hear them loudly.
i tried to relate them to some of the
evryday sounds we hear.
one was lik a ball bouncing really
fast on the tennis court
but really loudly too.
one was lik a siren or alarm.
one was lik someone knockin on the glass
followed by loud echoes in the machine.
one was lik the sound made by the drills
in construction sites.
there were more i think
but i onli thot of these few.
some were unidentifyable.
yeah.
the results of the scan
wuld b told to me in august.
i'm rather worried for it.
well, other than the frequent migraines,
i've been droppin a lot of hair lately.
compared to last time.
n i dun think tt it's due to the recent rebonding
coz i did rebond my hair a few times b4.
it not onli drops a lot when it's wet,
but also sometimes when it's dry.
which is really weird.
i mean
wad if i hav lik cancer or a tumor...
choy...
i dun wanna die so young.
but mayb... God might wan it to happen?
i duno.
see first la.
i doubt it wuld come to tt.

i havent really been studyin tt much...
i hav been doin more hwk lately tho,
which is gd.
i used to not do at all...
ms siti thot i was worried for my test today.
coz i told my mom tt i might nid an MC for
today's early dismissal.
coz i was havin a chem test n suppose to hav a bio test.
both practicals.
but den when my mom spoke to ms siti abt this
she misinterpreted this as
me havin the migraine attack as a result
of stress coz of the test.
which is most unlikely true.
the tests were lik near the back of my mind.
i was lik juz gonna do it lik normal pracs...
coz anyway it wasnt lik i din know how to do these practicals...
i did it b4...
yeah... so...
anyway, i asked my mom to ask ms siti abt the MC
coz the office staff told me tt if i din get an MC
wheneva i had a test,
i wuld get a 0.
major yum told me tt too.
n ms siti also asked me to see a doc...

aniwae, i'm fine now.
sadly, i couldn't join tanya n lindy they all
to support angel n jane in their singin competition
in newtown sec.
oh ya tanya, tell me abt it ok?
n sry i couldnt make it.
din think i wuld b sick.
during PE i was lik fine.
mayb it was coz of PE tt caused my migraine.
i duno.
mayb it was cause of the run?
but it was onli 1 round round tt pathetic
"track" even tho i did "exert" myself a lil
when i overtook some ppl.
den we played soccer
which was really fun!
i was one of d attackers in my team.
tanya chose to b the goalkeeper.
we din score any goals tho.
nor did the other team.
so it was a tie.
but the "field" was so small la.
n so was d goal.
i got hit by the ball on my shin.
but it wasnt tt bad.
when we threw in the ball,
we could throw in lik to the other side la
coz lik i saed it was so small.
haha.
but it was fun.

oh ya.
i caught lik half of sg idol on wed.
last time i saed i liked joakim i think.
or was at least referring to him.
i still do.
he's not veri strong vocally but i think
he's got a nice personality.
n he's lik quite mixed.
he's dad's an indian n his mom's a korean.
cool rite?
n he learnt chinese.
even tho he's not a chinese.
i know coz tanya told me tt he's
her ex-tutor's ex-student.
i think paul is gd vocally.
altho his hair is lik quite irritating.
it covered both his eyes this time.
haha.
quite funny to watch him
coz gurmit singh had to point out to him
which camera to look at.
haha.
lik he couldnt see them.
den when he was singin he had to swing his head
a few times to fling his hair off his face,
haha.
jonathan's gd too.
i dun really lik any of the girls.
i prefer gayle the most tho.
my mom thinks tt mathilda's gd.
but my bro keeps criticising abt her choice
of wardrobe.
haha.
other than sg idol,
i've been watchin the new chinese show on ch8.
it premiered this wk.
starring rui en, felicia chin, terrance chow n julian hee.
i think julian hee speaks quite funnily.
rui en is super skinny la.
if u look at her arms n legs it's lik
she doesnt hav any fats at all.
felicia chin looks big when standin next to her.
but i think felicia chin looks prettier.
as in her face.
rui en has this cutesy small girl look
whereas felicia looks more matured
yet demure.
julian looks lik d gd-lookin but gay type.
altho he might not b.
d lil boy called xiao hao is so cute
n is such a gd actor for someone his age.
yeah ok gd n see it for urself if u wanna knoe more.

-when are you coming back? ;

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

hey peeps...
wad a long day...
man, m i tired...
haha...
i feel lik slpin...
i'm goin to in a while.
i havent done any work
as usual...
sigh...
i seriously think there's somethin wrong wif my brain.
i keep avoiding work.
i keep avoiding the textbooks
and the past year papers.
n for some strange reason,
i seem to b losing more n more
hair by the day.
i mean, when i shower,
several strands,
not just one,
will fall out.
everytime.
even now,
when i'm not bathing.
it's still wet, yes,
but i'm not even touching it.
in a way it's good.
coz my hair's like quite thick.
but how much hair do i have?
it's not an endless supply.
haha.
hmm...
i doubt it's due to the chemicals
from rebonding.
'coz i've rebonded b4
n my hair nv falls out so much lik this.

well, anyway,
i think i screwed up my orals.
for chinese.
for o levels.
i din even understand the qn.
when the qn was askin abt youth
today being materialistic,
i answered about
singapore having lots of trees
and animals.
the examiners had to stop me
and explain the qn to me.
sigh.
at least they were kind enuf to let me
talk abt tt topic.
but i dun think i answered to well
either.
i fumbled,
hemmed, hawed and
paused at several occasions.
and i couldn't elaborate that much.
i wasn't thinkin straight
esp aftr i interpreted the qn wrongly
and had them correct me.

clarissa and tanya roped me
into a trio.
wondered y i put blossom under
one of my nicknames?
well,
it's coz of them.
out of the 3,
i would rather choose bubbles,
coz she wears blue, she's the youngest
and she's cute.
but i had to sacrifice.
and settle for blossom
coz tanya's buttercup
and clarissa's dead-set
on bubbles coz she
absolutely loves blue,
mayb even more than me.
betw blossom n buttercup,
i would prefer blossom.
coz i dun really lik buttercup.
she's lik rough n tom-boyish.
i'm quite tom-boyish at times,
or at least can be,
but i'm not rough.
oh n they "forced" me
to buy a ppg notebook also la.
wif them.
sigh.
this is wad peer pressure can be.
i dun really nid it.
n i guess i could certainly
save the money on other things.
but aiya.
wadeva la.
for the sake of my frenz' happiness,
i guess i can spare a few cents.
the notebooks came in 3s.
so juz nice lor.

i juz found out today,
that Brazilian soccer player Kaka,
is married or is going to marry
a girl who is like 6 or 7 yrs younger
than he is.
Rude shock!
it's lik having a child bride...
she's 18 n he's lik 25!
which means,
when she was lik 14, he was lik 21!
sheesh!
i wouldnt even wanna date a 21 yr old guy
at my age,
let alone if i was still 14.
it wuld b lik i'm dating a 23 yr old guy.
or a J2 gal marryin a 25 yr old guy...
isnt she like too young for him?
wont he find her too immature?
i dunno la...
it's juz unusual in this modern era.
i wanted to post up some pics
tt i took wif clarissa recently.
but the blogger din seem to upload it.
so aiya.
nvm la.

-when are you coming back? ;

Saturday, July 08, 2006

phew...
finally...
took me a few hours
coz there were some technical probs...
but finally i compromised
n the blogskin also compromised...
haha...
i wanted to add in abit of the stuff i had on my old blog skin
but it caused probs...
somehow both the old n new could not cooperate.
so i had to scrap the old stuff...
actually i had a few other choices of blogskins to choose from.
they were all so nice too...
but i decided to choose this in the end...
partly coz i love blue
and also sasa loves blue too!
haha...
sasa = clarissa.
yea. so.
if i'm free...
i might also change again...
mayb in a few mths time.
lik aftr o's.

-when are you coming back? ;

life...
is so boring...
studying....
is boring...
sianz...
staring at my books...
i feel like falling asleep.

as i peer around the room,
papers, books and files clutter the floor and tables.
i sigh.
40 over days more to go...
even then,
i still need to study.
even after my prelims,
it's not over.
only till november.
mid novemeber.
then, all this will end.
i would be able to burn everything.
that would be nice.
if i could do that.
or at least throw or give them away.
whatever.
just get rid of them.
get rid of my books,
my papers,
my boredom,
my burdens.
i would be able to get
my freedom,
my time,
my friends,
my fun,
my room,
my movies,
my tv,
my computer,
my life.

but for now i'm stuck.
stuck here.
stuck in my room.
stuck with my books.
stuck with studying.
i seriously don't know how people can like studying.
yucks.
they're seriously boring.
they seriously have no life.

-when are you coming back? ;

there are certain things i like...
i'm a visual person...
so the things i like mostly appeal to me visually...
like...

BABIES!

Animals!!! especially dogs/puppies...

i love nice looking things...

-when are you coming back? ;

Monday, July 03, 2006

more designer dresses!!!~

these two are designed by Jay, the winner of the first Project Runway show. they look really futuristic don't u think so?

third: Oscar de la Renta Sequin and Lace Embroidered Tulle dress

fourth: Louis Vuitton Tulle Trimmed dress

fifth: Dior by John Galliano Embroidered Tulle dress

sixth: Dolce & Gabbana dress

seventh: Rachel Pally Mexico dress

eighth: Roberto Cavalli dress

ninth: Tuleh Lace and Ribbon Patchwork gown

tenth: Roberto Cavalli Uma dress
oh n i forgot to post in my previous entry tt most of d pics i took were really retarded la...
haha.
n if u're wonderin y u see most of d same person in d pics other than me,
it's clarissa, my photo-taking buddy.
haha.
yeah ok.
i remember reading my ex-dance instructor's blog
in friendster
and i had a rude shock.
she had a really high standard of english surprisingly.
i mean in dance she used to speak rather coarsely
in the sense, rather simply.
n she also spoke to the teacher in-charge of dance
in chinese at times.
hence, i had the impression that she was chinese-ed.
however,
after reading her profile in friendster,
i kinda understood why.
she was previously from njc,
afterwhich she studied in a few dance schools and colleges overseas
in countries like Australia and US.
that's y.
no wonder.
strange.

-when are you coming back? ;

urgh...
i'm doin a maths wksheets frm heymath.com
which ms ho assigned to us for d holidays
haha...
but i cant seem to do a no. of the qns...
sigh.
so i decided to blog a bit b4 i continued.
ok these r my old pics...
my really old pics...
reminiscing the days when i still had long hair...
i kinda miss my long hair...

-when are you coming back? ;

Okay,
since it's the world cup,
i decided to blog abt it.
but coz i hardly watch soccer,
i shall juz say wad i heard.
the teams left are
italy, germany, france and portugal.
so sad brazil is out.
ok,
and i also realised recently
that soccer players can actually be quite good-lookin.
like kaka from brazil,

torres

and raul from spain,
stephen gerrard

and maybe michael owen from england
and christiano ronaldo

from portugal.
and not forgetting some other players from spain and other teams...
i don't really remember their names
coz i only watched d highlights.
haha.
what to do
i'm not gonna like stay up till 3 am lor...

-when are you coming back? ;