Still Waiting

Friday, May 26, 2006

sianz...
chinese o's r juz 3 daes away!!!
sheesh...
at least i can get it over n done with.
so bored.
sick n tired of doing countless chinese exercises.
if i dun pass my chinese o's,
i'll faint.
i dun wanna take it again.
today,
some reporters frm d lian he zao bao
n xing qi wu zhou bao
came to our sch n spoke.
n 2 contestants frm campus superstar
came to speak n sing for us also.
they were renfred n teresa.
renfred can't really sing tt well.
he went off key at times
and was walkin really weirdly
like a robot.
n was doin weird hand movements.
while singing.
teresa was really good.
her voice was so nice.
never heard the song b4
coz i dun normally listen
to chinese songs
but it was lik breathtaking.
i had goosebumps.
haha.
yes, tt good.
she shld have won d competition actually.
when they were been photographed by mr lim,
haha, he was so funny, tried to look pro,
stood next to the professional photographer
from one of the newspapers
but he din look pro at all lah.
haha.
and our teachers behind were like shouting "encore".
super embarassing.
haha.
actually,
i dun mind if teresa did an encore,
but not renfred.
seriously,
he could not even speak properly la.
when d reporter frm d bao mi hua frm lian he zao bao
asked him qns,
he juz mumbled.
no one could understand
what he was saying.
mayb he was nervous coz he was in an all girls' school,
tanya was tellin me.
duno.
mayb.
haha.

-when are you coming back? ;

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Had cross-country today.
Ran 3.2km.
Despite the fact that i jogged most of the time
and sprinted near the end,
i was not top 50,
let alone top 25.
Thus, i did not win anything.

Clarissa, i hope that u do not think
that i decided to write about fashion
because of your blog and your blog entries.
No, it was because lately,
I've been reading some storybooks
which revolves around the lives of some of the rich and famous
in Hollywood,
and it also gave great details of some of the outfits
that the characters wore.
Outfits designed by Versace or Gucci
or even Oscar De La Renta dresses...
So i took the liberty to search on the internet
for pictures of some of such nice dresses.
Dresses which caught my interest.

Dolce & Gabbana ferragamo blacktulle

Marcel Marongiu - Off Shoulder Ruffled Blouse and Short Linen Skirt

Christian Dior Simla Dress

-----=+=-----

Places i want to visit and have never been before:
-Paris, France (future honeymoon destination?)
-Venice, Italy (another future honeymoon destination?)
-Rome, Italy
-Milan, Italy
-Madrid, Spain
-London, England
-New York, USA
-Portugal
-New Zealand
-Toronto, Canada
-Ottawa, Canada
-Bahamas
-Washington D.C., USA
-Puerto Rico
-Taiwan?
-Tokyo, Japan?
-Maldives (although now not so much because of the tsunami)
(The last 5 not so much...)

-----=+=-----

This song was sung by Katherine McPhee so perfectly
in the last episode and another previous episode of the
American Idol Season 5.
I hope she wins.
She has a really good voice and she's pretty.
She has the American Idol look
unlike Taylor Hicks.

Over The Rainbow(Arlen-Harburg)
Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds flyBirds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds flyBirds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?

-when are you coming back? ;

Monday, May 22, 2006

Gosh... i can't stand myself
i'm so so so super lazy...
i hav lik 3 papers of other sch's midyr chinese papers partially done
n yet i chose to watch "so you think you can dance"
instead of focusing and finishin it.
besides that i also have 2 exercises of zhuo ye
n there's "desperate housewives" after this.
haha.
i know wad ur thinkin...
"desperate housewives" is such an old lady's show
or adultish kind of show...
but it's actually quite interestin n my mum's d one hu started watchin
which made me start to watch.
haha.
okok even if i hav to sleep late i shall try my very best to
complete as much chinese homework as i can.
it wasn't long ago esp after my midyr results came out
that i was promising to myself tt i wuld buck up.
n seriously buck up.
n now, juz exactly one week away frm
the chinese O's n yet i'm here slackin from my chinese hwk.

-when are you coming back? ;

Thursday, May 18, 2006

DANIEL POWTER LYRICS
"Bad Day"

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oh.. Holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day

-----=+=-----

Sigh.
Today, they've released some results.
Results which were unsatisfying.
Results which i dare not repeat.
They've returned certain papers.
I know the results of some of the subjects.
Results of some of the papers.
Papers like English can cause me to just dig a hole in the ground
and bury my head inside.
No, correction, bury my whole being inside.
Bury myself alive.
Heh.
That would be a first.
Sure, it's only the mid-years you would say.
The thing is that the next exams are my prelims.
Time till then is 3 months.
3 months to jump like 5-7 grades up?
That would be amazing.
Amazing till it's almost impossible.
I would need a miracle.
I would need many miracles.
Why?
Why must exams be so depressing?
Why must the school be so strict about it?
Why must they set such tough papers?
I can't believe i actually failed English...
It can only happen in my school unfortunately.
English is the only subject that i've failed so far.
My Chinese results even beat my English marks surprisingly...
And i passed Chinese!
Yay!
I'm so happy for that.
Actually it was the leniency of my teacher with regards to
my oral and also my listening compre which helped to pull up my grade.
Whatever.
Ok, i shall not be typing out all my grades for the whole world to see,
that's even if the whole world reads my blog,
but u really wanna know,
just ask me.
On MSN, of course, or in person.
Unless, you're a stranger and don't have my MSN,
in that case, don't be such a nosey parker.
Haha.
I want my privacy too.
And my humility.
The only consolation is that i have a distinction.
Not an A1, but at least an A.
Alright.
Other than the depressing topic of exams,
i shall describe in great detail my Monday.
Monday,
i had Chinese tuition in the morning.
Woke up at like 8.45,
had tuition at like 9.
Then it ended at around 11am.
I took around 30-45 mins to prepare.
So i was quite late when i reached harbourfront mrt.
Even without taking so long,
i would have been late
because of my tuition.
The rest had already been there since morning.
By the time i met them,
it was already 1+/2pm.
Tanya, Clarissa, Vanessa Soh, Charmaine, Eunice, Chun Meng and Jolene Ong.
Their skins were partially red.
We debated on whether we should sit the luge.
But after much discussion,
we agreed to skip it.
So, we went to the beach.
Settled down there and slabbed on some suntan oil and sunscreen lotion.
Then, some of us went to cross this bridge thing
but not that big proper bridge.
There a bunch of guys on the other side
playin in the sand and in the water.
We just settled next to the bridge
and played our own games.
We hurled litle balls of sand at each other and other stuff.
OK, i must stop myself here.
I shall continue the next time because i really need to go.

-when are you coming back? ;

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Is It Any Wonder?

Is it any wonder
That the world is filled with pain,
When man sets aside its beauty,
For his own material gain?

Is it any wonder
That lovers' hearts grow dim,
When they do not hold in honor,
The love that's found within?

Is it any wonder
That the homeless often fail,
When they're forced out of house and home
To seek another trail?

Is it any wonder
That nature falls to ruin and rubble,
Because we drain it thoughtlessly,
Allowing it to crumble?

Is it any wonder
That children go astray,
Because we did not take the time,
To show them the proper way?

Is it any wonder
That evil's strong and bold,
When we can't see any goodness,
And we let our hearts grow cold?

Is it any wonder
Racism thrives, my friend,
When we cannot see the person,
Just the color of his skin?

Is it any wonder
That friendships die and fade,
When we forget the reasons,
Why they first were made?

Is it any wonder
Our world has been polluted,
When we allow our industries,
To strip it and permute it?

Is it any wonder
There's so much grief and sorrow,
That we don't even seem to care,
What will take place tomorrow?

Is it any wonder
We see no value in our brothers,
And we hold ourselves too far above,
The many needs of others?

Is it any wonder
Our world is like it is,
When all we do is grumble,
And no action do we give?

Is it any wonder
We wait in fear of Judgment Day,
When we do the things we do,
Then forget the way to pray?

Author Unknown

I read this poem from an email.

Quotes of the day:

Antoine de Saint-Exupery:
Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.

"In every living thing there is the desire for love."-D.H. Lawrence

"Love is like the sun coming out of the clouds and warming your soul."-Anonymous

"Hearts are not to be had as a gift, Hearts are to be earned..."-William Butler Yeats

"Life is the flower for which love is the honey."-Victor Hugo

-when are you coming back? ;

Monday, May 15, 2006

i actually looked quite short in the first pic cause i was slouching n leanin close to the cam okay... not cause i was really that short.

the highlights of the wkend:

i slept for 16 and a half hrs on thurs nite/friday...

before that, tanya, jx, clarissa n i went out to suntec after i finished my A maths paper 2
and after jx n clarissa finished their pure Humans paper 1.
we dressed smart casually, in heels, skirts(jx wore pants tho) n fashionable tops.
ok, they weren't exactly fashionable but not what we would normally wear when we meet.

so...we took a shuttle bus frm the cityhall mrt station to suntec.
den we walked around and ate pizza hut for lunch.
den we walk a lot more.
on the way, we took pics n went to the toilet. haha.

den we ate ice cream! ok it was gelato. i bought tiramisu which wasn't even tt nice.
i knew i shld have bought mango or peach. they din have cookies n cream or vanilla or strawberry cheesecake, my fav ice cream flavours. tanya had i cant remember wad flavour.
i just remember it was choc n hazelnut mixed i think. jx was hazelnut n coffee i think. clarissa got blueberry(yuck. haha) n chocolate.
aniwae, we just sat at the bench infront of the gelato parlour. haha. den clarissa talked so loud when she answered the phone. hahahaha! made evryone near us look. even the guy behind the counter. haha! den tanya n clarissa saw a handbag in the recycling bin. haha. while they were in the toilet, i delibrately n obviously peered into the bin because jx asked me to while i was throwin away my ice-cream cup.

kay, cause of d heels, my legs ached. badly.

JESSE MCCARTNEY LYRICS
"Beautiful Soul"

[Intro:]I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

I know that you are something special
To you I'd be always faithful
I want to be what you always needed
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me

[Chorus:]I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

Your beautiful soul, yeah

You might need time to think it over
But im just fine moving forward
I'll ease your mind
If you give me the chance
I will never make you cry c`mon lets try

[Chorus]

Am I crazy for wanting you
Baby do you think you could want me too
I don't wanna waste your time
Do you see things the way I do
I just wanna know that you feel it too
There is nothing left to hide

[Chorus]

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste

I want you and your soul
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soulooooooo
Beautiful Soul, yeah
oooooo, yeah
Your beautiful soul
yeah

-when are you coming back? ;

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Married to a Hollywood star
another fictional short story by me.

Many people think that being married to a famous star is living a life of luxury. It's partially true. True that we live in big houses, have drivers to chauffeur us around in limos, dine in fancy restaurants, wear the trendiest clothes, invited to the coolest parties and walk down the famous red carpet. But all these are just material things. I used to think like them, but now after all these years of being alone in a big mansion while my husband is in some foreign country shooting his big blockbusters or some other state in the country collecting some award, i think otherwise. Our marriage has become so empty, so distant. I no longer even know whether my husband loves me anymore. Even though i receive so many expensive gifts, i hardly know if he truly cares how i feel because most of them are ordered by his assistant anyway.

-----=+=-----

haha i know i said i'm not gonna write anymore stories, i don't care. i'm gonna write them aniwae.

Walking down the red carpet
yet another fictional short story by me.

Ever since i took up the acting job, my life has taken a drastic change. People around me start to treat me a lot better. But now i don't really know if people really like me for my personality and not because i am a famous actress. And i can hardly leave the house without being stopped by someone to sign my autograph or be stalked by the paparazzi. My schedule is now packed with shooting, parties or awards. I hardly even see my own home. Let alone my bed. I don't even know if my boyfriend truly loves me, after my looks, my fame or if he's even after my money. Some people think i don't have a brain because all i do is memorise lines other people write or just smile at the camera. The magazines gossip about us stars and print fake rumors about our lives. People always think a movie star's life is so glamourous. Well, they're wrong. Why do you think so many of us resort to drugs or alcohol or counselling?

-when are you coming back? ;

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Pics of stars...
actresses... singers...
models...
people i won't look like.
people lots of people would never become.
but who cares?
too skin deep.
sometimes i compare myself with them.
but then it's like comparing myself with Eistein or those inventors with my brain. which is uncomparable. recently, i was just talking to someone abt brainyness, money, success n stuff. ultimately, we cant keep it when we die. so wad's the use of fussing n ending our lives cause we aren't near-perfect? right? no one in Heaven's gonna like ask u for ur earth's occupation. nobody's gonna like boast that they know the formulas to quantum physics or that they got 10 A1s or 5As for their O's and A's respectively right? there are people who have gotten that. but seriously just because we aren't like them, do we break down and cry? do we always have to harp on academics? or even beauty? or sports? do these things really matter? what really matters most are God, family, friends, health, love, happiness and peace.
-WORLD PEACE-

-----=+=-----

Here's a poem, to add diversity in the things i post, it's not really related to the thing i was talking about on top. ok i duno. u decide. :

Small Pain In My Chest
by Michael Mack

The soldier boy was sitting calmly underneath that tree.
As I approached it, I could see him beckoning to me.
The battle had been long and hard and lasted through the night
And scores of figures on the ground lay still by morning's light.

"I wonder if you'd help me, sir", he smiled as best he could.
"A sip of water on this morn would surely do me good.
We fought all day and fought all night with scarcely any rest -
A sip of water for I have a small pain in my chest."

As I looked at him, I could see the large stain on his shirt
All reddish-brown from his warm blood mixed in with Asian dirt.
"Not much", said he. "I count myself more lucky than the rest.
They're all gone while I just have a small pain in my chest."

"Must be fatigue", he weakly smiled. "I must be getting old.
I see the sun is shining bright and yet I'm feeling cold.
We climbed the hill, two hundred strong, but as we cleared the crest,
The night exploded and I felt this small pain in my chest."

"I looked around to get some aid - the only things I found
Were big, deep craters in the earth - bodies on the ground.
I kept on firing at them, sir. I tried to do my best,
But finally sat down with this small pain in my chest."

"I'm grateful, sir", he whispered, as I handed my canteen
And smiled a smile that was, I think, the brightest that I've seen."
Seems silly that a man my size so full of vim and zest,
Could find himself defeated by a small pain in his chest."

"What would my wife be thinking of her man so strong and grown,
If she could see me sitting here, too weak to stand alone?
Could my mother have imagined, as she held me to her breast,
That I'd be sitting HERE one day with this pain in my chest?"

"Can it be getting dark so soon?" He winced up at the sun.
"It's growing dim and I thought that the day had just begun.
I think, before I travel on, I'll get a little rest ..........
And, quietly, the boy died from that small pain in his chest.

I don't recall what happened then. I think I must have cried;
I put my arms around him and I pulled him to my side
And, as I held him to me, I could feel our wounds were pressed
The large one in my heart against the small one in his chest.

-when are you coming back? ;

......yay.....
exams are finally over...

y do i not sound excited?
that's cause i'm feelin all tired n sleepy...

it could have been due to the fact that i slept at 11+ last night nearly midnite!
or cause i spent nearly an entire day out with my friends.
girls' day out! yeah!
haha...
we all dressed nicely for this special occasion...
why was it special?
cause it's been awhile since we last went out
and it'll be a long time till we go out and have fun
again like this.

we went to suntec,
took a lot of pics on d way there and when we were there
n ate lunch n toked n toked
n ate gelato or wadeva fat-free italian ice-cream thing.

oh yah!!!
Chris daughtry is out of american idol people!!!
NO!!!!!!
Taylor hicks should be the one out!!!!
Chris is a good, no, a great singer!!!!
he n Katherine McPhee shld b in the finals ppl!
America duno how to decide!!!
last time they saed Chris was the next american idol
den now he doesn't get voted into the next round...
what la?!

haiya....
i shan't write any stories anymore then.
nobody gets them anyway.

wow... i'm so tired.
i can juz collapse on my bed now.
i'm tryin to keep awake slightly longer so that i can be so tired
that i'll fall aslp later n nv wake up.
tt'll be good.
i can't face my results.
too demoralising
too depressing
see,
even when i'm supposed to b enjoying i think abt my exams.
sheesh.

as soon as clarissa sends me the pics we took today,
i shall post one or a few.
depends.
i din bring my cam cause i dropped it this morning
den it spoilt.
oh tt reminds me i must find the warranty card
so tt my dad can bring it for repair.

i've been readin again.
yay!
cant wait to keep readin finish n borrowing new ones.

quote of the day:
Arthur Eddington:
Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.

-when are you coming back? ;

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

oh no... i havent sleep yet.
i'll prob regret tmr...
cause i'll get eye bags or dark circles
or blur.

okok
shall go soon.
like now? cute animals???
YES! I jus love animals!!!
ok bye.

-when are you coming back? ;

tmr's my last day!
last paper = a maths paper 2
goin out...
can't wait.
i don't want the breaktime to end!
i don't want O's to ever come.
i just wanna skip it and go to jc!
sec 4's so hard!
i wanna go back to last yr or any other yr...
i can just kiss my dreams goodbye.
esp with this kind of attitude.
i was watchin american idol.
singapore idol wont come close to it.
sometimes i wonder...
esp aftr exams
i wonder my papers r so hard...
it's in God's plans.
mayb He wants me to wake up from my mid yrs
or learn my mistakes
den prelims n O's i wuld do better.
choose story 1 or story 2 for me to develop.
or, if u don't like either,
just say 0.
if there's no response,
i shall create other short stories.

-----=+=-----

story 1:
She stares blankly out of the window...
oblivious to her surroundings...
stuck in her own world.

someone out there,
someone's waiting...

but she can't seem to sense it.
she vaguely even remembers her name.

pain, guilt, shame, anger, jealousy, pride, envy...
they all consumed her.
swallowed her whole.
she's a different person.
no one knows who she is anymore.

-----=+=-----

story 2:
There he goes!
how he could end up with a girl like that
was a total mystery.
everyone keeps giving me that pitiful look.
i hate it.
i hate them.
she's the cause of it all.
i nearly had him.
2 years!
but all she had to do was strut past him
and swing that long, shiny, silky hair
of hers and he's hooked!
it wasn't as if she'd so much as to breathe in his direction last time.
not till he became famous....

-when are you coming back? ;

Thursday, May 04, 2006

3 and 1/2 subjs down... mani more to go...
today i sat for my e maths paper 1 n chem papers.
the e maths paper was manageable.
the chem papers were quite difficult.
mayb it was because i was ill-prepared for them.
last night i felt as if i knew evrything about chem.
but moments b4 the exam,
i realised how wrong i was.
in a state of panic, i attempted to memorise some of the facts
that i din knoe...
aftr the chem paper 1,
i checked my answers against my friends' and
to my horror i did make quite a handful of careless mistakes.
oh well, i guess it just means i have a lower chance of gettin A1 for chem.

not to fret,
fortunately,
this is only mid-years.
i shall not let it happen for either the prelims or the O's.

i can only pray that most of my answers are correct.
it's in God's hands now.

-----+=+-----

life is full of regrets.
i regret not learning chinese properly in primary school
when i had the chance to learn the basics
because now i'm struggling with it.
i regret not reading more books when i was also in primary school
because now that i've discovered the pleasure of reading,
i find it a little too late.
i am less knowledgeable and have a limited range of vocab.
now it seems unnatural for me to use difficult words
and i am constantly being corrected than those
who are more proficient in the language.

despite the regrets,
i still learnt something.
i had a happy childhood.
and life is not perfect.
mayb even though i din read as much or learn chinese as well,
i can still live life happily.
i guess life is not just about how good you are in English or Chinese
or skateboarding or science or how pretty you look or whether you're the
biggest loser or the smartest student.

if people didnt make mistakes,
then we won't be able to learn.
if people didn't make mistakes,
we would all be leading the same perfect lives.
if people didn't make mistakes,
then we would be like perfect.
i don't know.

why are humans so emotional???
is that our flaw?
we're expected to work hard,
produce results.
but somehow we would feel tired.
when someone dies,
we would feel sad.
when people do better than us,
we would get jealous.
when we do well,
we would expect people to celebrate with us or praise us.
when we do badly,
we would want other people to leave us alone
so that we won't have to compare to them.

how strange is human nature.
ok i'm juz rattling nonsense.

-when are you coming back? ;